Thursday, January 22, 2009

Let's Have Some Pun

Brad signed with the Dodgers but he didn't get Ausmus as he did when with the Astros.

The Brewers signed a Prince for two years at $18 million, but didn't get much of a Fielder at first base.

Jayson signed for two years at $10.4 million with the Phillies, but the Fan didn't know he was Werth that much.

The Cubs got a new owner but won't sell as many Ricketts because of the economy.

The Cardinals Glaused their third baseman for three months due to injury.

Gary Fraley had this one: "The Nationals Need to Get This Deal Dunn."

The Cubs signed Michael, but they could have done Wuertz.

The Tigers signed relief pitcher, Joel, and his family started singing that African spiritial, "Zumaya" and opposition batters moaned in unison, "Oh Lord, Zumaya."

Jorge of the Marlins was going to go to arbitration, but the Marlins started singing, "You Cantu That" and signed him to a contract.

Houston avoided arbitration and got Brandon Backe.

The Royals', Jimmy, Gobbled up his contract, thus avoiding arbitration.

The Brewers', Seth, McClung to his contract with glee thus avoiding arbitration.

The White Sox signed their closer to avoid arbitration and hope he is up to his old hiJenks against American League hitters.

Huston signed with the Rockies and thus is on easy Street.

The Phillies' pitcher, Ryan, signed and his headed to Madson bounty.

The Cardinals signed pitcher, Todd, and hope that he remains a Wellemeyer as apposed to an injured meyer.

The Mariners signed a pitcher they hope will be much Bedard than last year's injury plagued season.

Second baseman, Tadahito, went back to Japan, so Charo will have to travel there to keep saying, "Iguchi, Iguchi, Iguchi!" Alternative: The Phillies waved Tata a hito, to Iguchi.

The Mets signing Sanchez was a no-Duaner.

If catcher, John Buck, signed with the Royals, shouldn't his last name be plural?

Jeff Kent play anymore so he retired.

Seay, did you hear that Bobby signed with the Tigers?

If the Rockies' relief pitcher, Jason, has another good year like last year, he'll avoid getting Grilli-ed by the Press.

The Orioles', Nick, will Markakis money and run.

And with that, our punning is done...or Dunn.


Josh Borenstein said...

Awesome post. My favorite so far.

William said...

Why thanks, Josh! My wife groaned and rolled her eyes when she read it. I guess you need to be smart to enjoy a good pun. hehe...