Friday, February 19, 2010


So Tiger Woods had his say today and it was well done. Does the Fan forgive the guy? Hey, it's his business, not the Fan's. The Fan just wants to know when he'll play again. This little fence mending expedition comes a few weeks after former GM and ESPN analyst, Steve Phillips, talked about his sexual addiction. At the sake of sounding all uneducated and stupid, the Fan's take on all this is heavy on the skepticism.

Look, we all have cravings. In fact, right now the Fan is really craving Kentucky Fried Chicken. But life is full of these cravings. The balancing act is to balance the cravings with the end results. If the Fan eats KFC, he ends up making weird noises on the porcelain fixtures and has many agonizing moments therein. The Fan gets this craving several times a month and gives in to it perhaps once a year. But that one time is enough to educate for the rest of the year. Cravings are something we want. Reality is what we know will/could happen if we give in to those cravings.

There are legitimate addictions. Tobacco is among the worst. But chemical addictions are very real. In those cases, the body is altered and chemical deficiencies scream out to be heard. Yeah, those are cravings, but until help or will is summoned, the price of giving in to those cravings goes unheeded.

The Fan isn't well versed in psychology and those kinds of studies. But the Fan is aware of sexual cravings. Yeah, the Fan is a man and men get cravings. The Fan can't speak about women because he isn't one. But they must get cravings too. But when you are married or in a serious relationship, the cravings are like that KFC thing. Yeah, we know what will happen if it all blows up in our faces. Fortunately, most of us don't give in to them once a year like KFC and hopefully, we find some bliss and aid for our needs from our significant others.

And again, the Fan isn't a sociologist. But it seems that men are wired to crave women (if we have that sexual preference anyway). Studies have shown that our pulse quickens at the sight of a pretty girl. We just can't help ourselves. We also have innate (so they say) desires for conquest that go back to our human roots (or our sinful and carnal side, depending on your belief system). But as rational men (is that an oxymoron?) we make the trade off of putting a "shush" to our cravings and our nature for the convenience of a partner that makes the world a much nicer place to live.

But you put a man in a playground where there are no rules and he will try to satisfy his cravings as many times as possible. If you don't believe the Fan, watch Big Brother. When men have unlimited money, unlimited opportunities and people who will take money to feed our cravings, then that trade off system gets a little harder to deal with. Sexual addiction? No. That's just the same cravings we all have with no rules or restrictions. When you have a lot of money, you secretly think you are gifted above mere mortals and the same rules don't apply. It's very hard not to feel those kinds of "I'm special" thoughts. Tiger Woods said the same thing today.

Therapy? Sure. When a man is in the kind of fix Tiger Woods is in, then you go to therapy or whatever else your mother or offended wife thinks is appropriate. Deep down, do you really think Tiger Woods thinks he has an addiction? No, deep down, he knows that he has manly cravings that ran amok because they could and now that he is busted, he has to revert back to the trade off system. Does Steve Phillips have an addiction? No, that's what he has accepted as part of his punishment for getting caught. After all, he would like to work again.

Personally, sex and love are totally separate issues. But we are so screwed up, we can't separate them without people's feelings being hurt. We are screwed up about this issue you know. So, though the human species isn't really good at the monogamy thing, that's what we have to deal with at present and its trade off system. Those who have means and ability and who come to believe they are above it all, they do what our species is especially good at and that is finding some other warm place to put our warm places and they do so thinking that they are entitled to be above our present system.

Frankly, if we could simply separate the two issues of love and sex, we wouldn't have this problem to begin with. But let the Fan prove his point by asking you one basic question: Haven't you seen a face like Tiger's today somewhere before? Yes you have. Admit it. You've seen that same face when a man is seen walking out of a porn shop (if those places still exist in this world of the Internet) or when a man is caught participating in pregnancy classes with his woman. It's the same face. The face simply says: "Oh my, I've been caught red handed and am in this mess thanks to my cravings."

Addicts? Who knows. The Fan doesn't know everything. But this whole sexual addiction things seems pretty bogus.

1 comment:

bobook said...

Couldn't have said it better, my man!