Sunday, March 21, 2010

Tripping Through The Transactions

Today we ressurect a long-time tradition here in the FanDome. Every spring begats an irreverant trip through the week's transaction wire. Warning, that means puns galore. If you're not a Fan of puns, you may want to look away quickly. For everyone else, here we go:

  • The Cubs dictated that Castro will be Starlin in the minor leagues instead of the majors. Whoo boy, two puns in one sentence. Off to a fast start!
  • It is Embreeonic and far too soon for Boston fans to think LOOGY Alan will be much help this year.
  • The Indians told Hodges to go Wes young man and they sent him to the minors.
  • The Fogg cleared for the Mets' brass that Josh wasn't going to help them this year and they released the pitcher.
  • Holy Toledo! The Tigers sent Alfredo Figaro Figaro Figaro to that city's minor league team. The same team also gave pitcher Cody a Satterwhite wash on a sad Satterday for that young man.
  • The Nationals were busy. They decided on Storen pitcher Drew in the minors for the time being. They also decided that Chico wasn't the man and Matt was sent down. And of course, we all know by now that they made a burgermeister out of Stephen Strasburg when he was sent to Harrisburg.
  • The Cubs decided that pitcher Thomas wasn't a Diamond in the rough and sent him down.
  • The Indians knew Mills wasn't their Beau no matter how much he batted...his eyelashes.
  • The Marlins had a busy Friday. They decided there wasn't enough oil in Taylor Tankersley so they sent him back to port and they told him to bring his Cousins with him--Scott that is. They also decided that Vinnie, a catcher, will have to Rottino the minors. In the most suprising move, considering it's south Florida, Jai "Alai" Miller didn't make the big club. And finally, they also felt that Danny Richar didn't have the "D" it takes to be their infielder.
  • The Brewers had a cut day of biblical proportions as a Cain, a Salome and a Zachariah all got sent down. And Loe and behold, Kameron was sent down too. Perhaps the oddest part of the day was when their manager called young pitcher, Estrada, into his office, he said, "Marco," and the pitcher answered, "Polo," and the manager then said, "Nashville."
  • Meanwhile, at the Yankees' camp, Romulo was remiss when he didn't make the big club. And in a real switch of protocol, Ryan Pope kissed Joe Girardi's ring before he was sent down.
  • At the Pirates' complex, the team sent outfielder, Jonathan, down so he could play Van Every day. And Tyler Yates wasn't in the mood for poetry when he got sent down.
  • Down at the Texas camp, Justin was Smoak-ing that he didn't make the team.
  • On Thursday, there was a Reynolds wrap as the Diamondbacks locked up Mark for three years.
  • That same day, the Reds told infielder, Alonso, that he will have to go play off Yonder. To his credit, pitcher, Bill, wasn't a jackass and didn't Bray when he was sent down.
  • The Tigers gave Galarraga the Armondo hammer. The same day, the Tigers decided that Jay wouldn't Shorz up their bullpen.
  • At the Texas camp, Justin Souza marched to Midland and that minor league affiliate.
  • The Nationals sent a Rule 5 pick back to Toronto when they felt that Zech taste just like Zinicola, c-o-l-a cola.
  • Tough day on Thursday in the White Sox camp as there were no ifs, ands or Botts for Jason as he was released. And Viciedo was Dayan to make the team, but he didn't.
  • For the Astros, Fernando wasn't that Abad, but he got sent down anyway.
  • The Rangers are hurting for a catcher but decided that candidate Emerson was a Frostad flake.
  • And finally, last but not least, Pirates pitching prospect, Jeff Sues, will be a cat in a different hat after he was sent to the minors.

Have a great week everybody.

1 comment:

Josh Borenstein said...

Yes! Some are always going to be a little forced, but I am genuinely impressed with these posts.