Tuesday, January 04, 2011

The Winds of Change in Washington

Many of us thought the presidential election would blow in sweeping change in Washington a couple of years ago. That isn't exactly what happened. Now, many believe the gains of the Republicans in Congress will be the breath of fresh air so badly needed. But they won't be the story that stirs the breezes over the nation's capital in 2011. The winds of change are Mark Reynolds and Adam LaRoche!

The pair of former Arizona Diamondbacks have descended in and around the capital city and will bring 370 whiffs of moving air to Washington and its neighbor, Baltimore. Residents of those two cities should save on air conditioning bills this coming sweltering summer. In places known for high humidity and stagnant air, the air will become turbulent and the breezes should whip all over.

Mark Reynolds will bring his 600+ strikeouts of the last three years to his new team, the Baltimore Orioles and Adam LaRoche has just signed with the Nationals and will bring his 450+ strikeouts over the last three years to that city. That's a lot of moving air. From now on, whenever residents in those two hubs hear a whoosh sound, it won't be Air Force One or the president's helicopter. It will be the mighty (and futile) swings of these two famous air swingers.

Imagine what it will be like when both teams are home! Imagine you are lying in bed in Annapolis on a steamy night in mid-summer and both windows of your bedroom are open. First, a mighty breeze will come from the west as LaRoche swings and misses at three pitches. And then through the other window a few minutes later, another large gust will pour through as Reynolds hacks in vain. Won't that feel good?

The only negative for the city's residents will be the disturbing groan that emanates from those two stadiums when another rally is snuffed out with yet another empty swing.

But things have a way of disappointing us from the nation's capital. Perhaps LaRoche will have wording in his contract that he will have to choke up on the bat with two strikes. Perhaps after a few icy stares from Buck Showalter, Mark Reynolds will just try to meet the ball and put it in play. ....Nah. Will never happen. Both teams know what they got themselves into. They will live and die by whatever these two players do whenever they do actually manage to hit the ball.

But they won't hit the ball often enough so that air traffic controllers in Reagan airport will have to take the wind currents in account while directing airport traffic around its air space. Local meteorologists will have to learn about wind advisories and shifting weather patterns.

Heck, it will be the first time in what seems like forever that the only air that blows around Washington isn't just hot air. Bring chin straps for your bonnets ladies and tighten those ball caps gents. The winds will be blowing around Washington this summer like never before.

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