MLB Game Picks - Thursday: June 13, 2013

Holy freakin' Hannah. What the heck is going on here? Verlander throws seven shutout innings and then Papa not-so Grande gives up a two-run homer to Lorenzo Cain in the ninth and the Tigers lose in extras.  The Braves would go 0-162 if they played the Padres every day of the season. The Cardinals can club any pitcher in baseball to death, but not Dillon Gee. Ubaldo Jimenez gave up four walks and a homer in five innings and still wins. Ross Ohlendorf comes out of nowhere to pitch six innings of two-hit ball...at Coors Field. The Dodgers behind Ryu, build a 4-3 lead in the late innings and then give the job of keeping it there to a kid making his major league debut. What!? The Mariners are ahead, 1-0, going into the top of the ninth and allow the Astros to score six runs. Phil Hughes goes back to sucking. I cannot win. This has been the worst stretch of my picking career. It is brutal. The week is so deeply in the hole that it should break through to China any minute now. The month is deep in the red. I am pulling my hair out and it is my only good feature.

There are only nine games on the Thursday schedule. Let's see how badly I can screw this up. Thursday's picks:

• The Cardinals over the Mets: The Cardinals cannot beat Gee, but they will beat the Mets' best pitcher. Why? One, they have Adam Wainwright on the mound. Two, Matt Harvey tweaked his back in his last start and three, the Mets do not score any runs when Harvey pitches. He has not had a decision since mid-April despite an ERA during that time of 2.68.
• The Reds over the Cubs: I would like to think the Cubs can finally win one of these games against the Reds. But can I afford to pick it that way? Even with Jeff Samardzija on the mound? Heck no. Mat Latos has to be the pick.
• The Nationals over the Rockies: The Nats are going to Ross the Rockies to death. Last night it was Ohlendorf and tonight it is Ross Detwiler. The Nats should trade for the Rangers' Ross Wolf so they would have the complete set. Jeff Francis should get clubbed. But then again, I should find a better way to spend my mornings.
• The Yankees over the Athletics: Yeah, I know, this is dumb. The Yankees cannot hit Oakland pitching in Oakland. They got melted there last year. They are getting melted again this year. But you would have to think that Hiroki Kuroda should beat Jarrod Parker, right? Keep starting Vernon Wells, Girardi. He is a pip.
• The Orioles over the Red Sox: The AL East is a strange place. The Rays beat the Yankees but cannot beat the Red Sox. The Rays also beat the Orioles, but the Orioles beat the Red Sox. And on it goes. This game can go either way, of course, with Felix Doubront and Kevin Gausman as the pitching line. The pick is the Orioles at home.
• The Giants over the Pirates: Oh look! Charlie Morton is back. He of the career 1.55 WHIP and 23-45 career win-loss record. He did not even strike out six minor league batters per nine innings, so he should do less in the majors, right? But see? That is what keeps happening. The Giants are the obvious pick behind Matt Cain. But nothing is going obvious.
• The Rays over the Royals: Ervin Santana will give up a couple of homers. My prediction is Matt Joyce and Luke Scott. Jeremy Hellickson will pitch his five or six mediocre innings and get his win, just like pretty much always.
• The Rangers over the Blue Jays: I never know what to do with a Yu Darvish start. I am almost always disappointed. He has had plenty of rest lately. So will that help? Esmil Rogers should get hit hard in Texas. But will he? The Rangers are having trouble getting the runners home despite a lot of base runners.

And the Game of the Day (not even going to use the exclamation point the way it has been going):

• The Phillies over the Twins: Cliff Lee is the reason for the pick. But I do not feel strongly about any of the picks today. There is not one game that feels like a lock. So this pick is it by default. Lee should have a chance to shut down the Twins and perhaps the feeble Phillies' offense can score a few off of Kevin Correia.

Yesterday: 4-10  ::sigh::

Week: 20-35   A five year old could do better pointing to a schedule.

Month: 78-85   How sad

Season: 541-435   Still living off of April

Games of the Day: 42-29   When a lock is not a lock