Game Picks - Sunday: May 8, 2011

This post is breaking Jethro Gibbs' Rule Number 36: Never post when you're angry. It's late in the basement and bedtime was quite a while ago. But just one game of Hearts before bed was all that was going to be played. But those crummy jerks ganged up three to one and defeated the best Hearts player in the world. As you can tell, this is taken very personal. Those three players are very real to this writer and they work together with the sole purpose of defeating the world's best Hearts player. It doesn't matter which one of them wins. All that matters is that the greatest player doesn't. But skill and smarts eventually won out and ten games later, the master kept his 53 percent win rate despite the dirty cheaters.

By the time the marathon match was over, all the baseball games were over and this game picker was already angry. Going through the scores and comparing them to the picks didn't help the anger pattern already seething inside. It was a day barely over .500. The Game of the Day feature lost AGAIN! How can Jared Weaver lose? How can the Indians keep winning? How can Joe Girardi bring Boone Logan in to start an inning? Why would Yovani Gallardo pick today to finally find his killer form? How could the Fan have picked the Astros and the Mariners? Why, why, why!? [[GACK...CHOKE...SPUTTER]]

Okay.  The temper is under control. Deep breaths have been taken. And here are Sunday's picks because there's no way this picker will be up in time in the morning to write them:

• The Tigers over the Blue Jays: Brad Penny has laughed in this picker's face twice in the last two weeks as the portly partier has had two great outings out of three. He faces Jo-Jo Reyes who couldn't buy a win if he had enough money to buy one more "Jo" in his name. Of course, this whole thing will probably get screwed up by Bautista suddenly showing up to play and hitting three homers off of Penny. Arrgghhh. There goes the temper again.
• The Dodgers over the Mets: Speaking of Reyes, Jose Reyes is playing out of his mind right now. The Fan is counting on Clayton Kershaw to come up big and for Ethier to start another hit streak off of R. A. Dickey. But Dickey will probably throw floaters all day and Kemp and company will look like fly swatters. This isn't helping.
• The Marlins over the Nationals: Livan, Livan, Livan. Just that name strikes terror into the heart of this picker. What the heck will he do this time out? What the heck will Anibal Sanchez do? He throws one-hitters and then walks the farm. Who the heck knows. The Fan should have gone to bed. The heck with your early picks!
• The Pirates over the Astros: "James McDonald has an arm, EEE Eye EEe Eye Oh." McDonald was terrible to start the season. Now he's great. So which one is it? Golly. "And against the arm is J. A. Happ, EEE Eye EEE Eye Oh...crap."
• The Red Sox over the Twins: And what to do with this game? Pavano has been lit up like Hong Kong's downtown. Matsuzaka was terrible, then he was the best pitcher in baseball and then he was terrible. And that's just this season. Can't get a break here.
• The Bay Rays over the Orioles: Wade Davis has a 2.70 ERA. But if you dig deeper, you find that his fastball has lost velocity and is flatter than a pancake. Then again, he is facing Brazen Brad Bergesen who hasn't won a game and Longoria is back. Cripes!
• The Athletics over the Royals: Another lovely game. Jeff Francis has not been fine to say the least. But he faces a weak offense. Tyler Ross has been terrific but never gets run support. Can we have at least one easy pick in here somewhere?
• The Cardinals over the Brewers: Kyle McClellan hasn't lost and looks great every time out. Chris Narveson has given up a billion runs in his last billion innings. But of course, you watch. Narveson will be lights out and this pick will look mighty stupid.
• The Cubs over the Reds: Man! This is awful. Ryan Dempster was in the deepest dumpster to start the season. Then suddenly he had a very good game. But he hardly struck out anyone. Johnny Cueto is making his first start of the year after being on the disabled list and hardly looked pretty in his rehab starts. How do you pick this stuff?
• The Indians over the Angels: The Angels already lost to the Indians with Weaver. Why should we believe that Dan Haren will fare any better? Fausto Carmona with the win.
• The Padres over the Diamondbacks: Even the Padres should hit Joe Saunders. Aaron Harang has been bad of late. Let's hope he rebounds in this game. Well, D-back fans won't be hoping that. Understood.
• The Rockies over the Giants: Jorge de la Rosa has been terrific and Ryan Vogelsong will be out of tune.
• The Mariners over the White Sox: Jimminy Crickets, no breaks at all here. Mark Buehrle can be good or he can be crappy. Erik Bedard pitched his heart out last time and still got a no decision. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
• The Phillies over the Braves: Cole Hamels has been better than Cliff Lee and Jair Jurrjens has been more tricky than powerful in his fine start. The Phillies always seem to find a way.

And the stinking Game of the stinking Day!

• The Yankees over the Rangers: C. C. Sabathia should be his usual fine self. If Ogando starts, it will be a miracle because he has a blister under his nail. Ouch. His replacement will be Dave Bush. Double ouch. But the way this year is going, Bush will throw the game of his life or something.

Yesterday: 8-7
Last Week: 49-47 [eyeroll]
Month: 49-47
Season: 261-230
Games of the Freakin' Day: 17-20