Saturday, January 31, 2009

Punning Through the Transaction Wire

Uh oh. More groans and smiles are on the way as we pun our way through the transaction wire for another week:

- The Cubs couldn't find a bulldozer to get rid of the goat curse, so they will try again with a Bako.

- The Mets will confuse us for another year as they once again bring Maine to New York.

- Pirates pitcher, Paul, will consider Pittsburgh Maholm for another three years.

- Texas gave the Byrd to arbitration and signed Marlon for another year. Too bad the player wasn't Sal Bando's kid. Then he would be Marlon Bando.

- Is there enough water in Arizona to keep a Garland from wilting too soon? Garland signed after seeing the lei of the land of this year's free agency.

- Joe Camel has been banned from baseball, so the Brewers brought in Mat Gamel instead.

- In other Brewers transaction news, isn't the name Angel Salome an oxymoron?

- Oakland pitcher, Russ, has more Springer in his step after signing a one year contract.

- The Bloom is off the rose as Detroit signed Kyle to a one year contract.

- In other Detroit transaction news, Alfredo thought arbitration was a Figaro speech, so he signed a one year contract.

- Astros' fans got all Geary eyed when Houston waved its magic Wandy and signed two important team members to one year contracts.

- In a good move for the Hair Club for Men, the Rockies signed Ubaldo Jiminez to a four year contract.

- When Mike Scioscia was asked if signing Maicer to a contract was a good deal for the Angels, he exclaimed: "Izturis!"

- The Reds apparently didn't have stormy Weathers in negotiations with David as the pitcher signed his new contract.

And that, fair friends, is a pun-through of transactions for the week.


Josh Borenstein said...

Damn, you're good at this. I'm impressed you can just crank these out.

William said...

Damn, you're easy to impress. hehe.