Tripping Over the Transactions - 3

It's that time again folks when we take an irreverant look at the transaction wire for the week. This was a bad week for many as final cuts are taking place. The Fan apologizes for their plight and for taking this light-hearted look at their outcomes.

• Gil's shoulder is still a Meche, so he went on the disabled list.
• Coco Crisp's body went snap, crackle, pop again and he's on the disabled list.
• Sure as the dust that floats high and true, when movin’ through Kazmir who went on the disabled list. That was for you Zep'lin fans
• The Angels were all excited that they got this great pitcher. But he wasn't who they thought he was and they send Zach Kroenke down to the minors.
• In other Angel news, Zavada's chances of making the team were made of Clay and they crumbled.
• In Braves' news, Joe was Thursten for a roster spot but didn't get it. Jordan is gimpy and Schafer is the one gear to have when you're using more than one and went on the disabled list. You have to be old to remember those commercials. A long time relief pitcher took his roster cut up the butt like a Procterologist.
• The Orioles' manager was walking around looking for his pitcher. He yelled out, "Koji, are Uehara?" The coach told him he was at the doctor's getting examined again and he went on the disabled list.
• In other Orioles news, the only way that pitcher, Mickolio, is going to see the Camden Yards clubhouse is via Web Kam as he was optioned out.
• For the Rockies, Huston will be in Street clothes to start the season as he went on the disabled list.
• In Florida, it seems rather unkind on Easter weekend for a Chisthian to get demoted. At least he'll have his Jai alli along with him as Miller was demoted too. Thought that happened last week?
• The Royals had a bloody day as Bruce took it on the Chen and was sent to the minors. But he was hardly alone as Edwin Ballorin danced on his toes to the minors too. Irving Falu out the door in anguish when he got the bad news.
• The Angels nipped Ryan's hopes in the Budde as he was sent down. They also told Peter Bourjos-no. The Fan thinks that's french.
• In Los Angeles, the equipment guy was relieved when Mientkiewicz got released. "Whew!" he said. And unfortunately, a catcher is no Closser to making the bigs this year than last. The Dodgers apparently think Xavier needs more schooling, so they sent Paul down. In a serious side note, they broke camp by signing both Ramon Ortiz and Garret Anderson to their 25 man roster. Geez, Louise. That's bad.
• Clay's injury put the Twins in a Condrey when they had to put him on the disabled list.
• In a sleeper of a deal, the Yankees received catcher/outfielder Robbie Hammock in a trade.
• The Reds' Wells will Kip town as he was released.
• Adam Lind must have been Bewitched to sign a deal for that amount of money. What a bargain for the Blue Jays.
• It wasn't an epic trade, but the Pirates traded Virgil Vasquez to the Bay Rays.
• The Giants' GM is a Posey because he sent Buster down. Oops. Need to wash the mouth out with soap after that one. In other news from the Giants, their catcher, Steve, proved that you can always go Holm again as he returned to the minors.
• Man, the Fan thought that they got rid of Bradley to provide a better atmosphere, but they still have Greifenkamp because they signed Jon to be their vice president.
• The Cardinals traded Julio Lugo to the Orioles. The Orioles expectorant Lugo to arrive any day now.
• When pitcher Bonser hits the wall and goes on the disabled list, he makes his own sound effects. To put seasoned salt on Boston's wound, they put Lowrie on the disabled list too.
• The Royals must have sent Kila back to the minors despite crushing the ball all spring because Trey Hillman kept saying, "Ka'aiwho?" instead of Ka'aihue.
• Seattle fans said, "Well I Bedard" when Eric went on the disabled list yet again.
• And finally, the Fan is angry that the Cubs just won't take Sam into the Fuld and demoted the poor guy again.

Have a great opening week of baseball, Everyone!