Tripping Through The Transactions

It's been another busy week on the transaction wire with all sorts of injuries and scrambling for players that will actually be effective on team's 25-man rosters. We could do in depth analysis on those transactions, but what fun would that be? Instead, we report these transaction in our unique and ludicrous way. Here we go...

• Boston's Jacoby should be renamed Illsbury instead of Ellsbury with all the time he's spent on the DL.
• Carlos Guillen came off the disabled list and the Tigers think he is more valuable at second base (of all places) than Danny's Worth. Frankly, the Fan thinks they are crazy.
• The Astros pruned a Bud from their roster as Norris went on the DL. To replace him, the Astros will go for the Gustavo as they recalled Chacin. In another Astros move, Oswaldo was Warren Commissioned to Round Rock, Navarro to return as they recalled another pitcher, Wesley, who they felt had the Wright stuff to help them right now.
• In Dodgers' news, there won't be any Tavern on the Green as Nick was sent down.
• For the Yankees, Granderson coming off the DL wasn't a Winn/Winn situation for everybody as Randy lost his job in the process.
• For the Pirates, the news keeps getting worse as a DL stint for Charlie Morton was salt in the wound. Does the Fan have to explain these things to you?
• If it was Everth a good time for the Padres to lose Cabrera at shortstop to the DL, it's now as he was only hitting .212 anyway. Perhaps Zawadzski can Lance that festering wound on the infield in his place.
• In other Padres news, Gallagher came back from vacaSean and is now off the DL.
• The Fan takes no poetic license to report that Josh Bard went on the DL. Let's hope his replacement, Alfonzo has an Eliazer-like arm to gun down base stealers.
• Matt won the Daley double as he was recalled from the PCL by the Rockies.
• Finally! After two months of watching Ortiz pitch for the Dodgers, the L.A. club finally decided that Ramon's arm was noodles.
• The Giants' GM asked his assistant: "Where's Waldis? I can't find him on my paper." The assistant GM pointed to him on the paper as he was in Fresno. So the GM called and Joacquin was called up. To make room for him, Matt was Downs and out when he got sent back to Fresno.
• The Cardinals got bad news as they might have Lohsed Kyle for the season with a weird forearm injury. To replace him, the Memphis manager informed Fernando that Salas will be dressing in St. Louis for a while.
• The Yankees signed Chad Gaudin again meaning Logan was sent to the Boonees and Shane Lindsay rode off to the sunset.
• Coco's uniform is still Crisp as he's barely gotten to wear it this season and is again back on the DL. There must be something about centerfield in Fenway...first Coco and now Jacoby...
• Honestly, Ianetta understnad why catcher Chris was sent down in the first place by the Rockies. Well he was called up again.
• The majors will again be filming with their Cameron as Mike was recalled by Boston from an injury rehab assignment.
• Can never understand how Wilson always finds a job. He can't hit and he doesn't have a Betemit in the field than anyone else.
• Raphael is again painting with the Dodgers and he was un-Furcaled from the DL.
• The Twins pronounced J. J. Hardy as hale and he was taken off the DL. Nothing better than a shortstop that is hale and Hardy.
• The Mets Beltransferred Carlos to the 60 day DL. That can't be good.
• Luis Durango felt jeeped being in the minors, but he was just called up by the Padres.
• The Phillies changed catchers as Schneider was taken off the DL and Hoover was vacuumed from the roster.
• And finally, the Indians played musical chairs when pitcher Dana was told Late in the Eveland that he was being sent down and then told another pitcher, David, "Oh Purcy Purcy me. things ain't what they used to be..." and asked him to help change things around.

Thanks it folks. Have a great Memorial Weekend. The Fan's late father fought in World War II and he will be remembered and honored tomorrow