Tripping Through the Transactions

It is once again time to trip through a passel of transactions FanDome style. These are some of the moves made in the last week or so...

• There is a revolution in Chicago as Castro is taking over...shortstop.
• But Starlin won't be taking over Chad because Tracy is the poor guy who got designated for assignment.
• It's a Kerry Lewis telethon! Well, not exactly. Kerry Wood is off the DL and Jensen Lewis lost his roster spot.
• The Marlins needed Mike to hit like a lion, but he hit like a Lamb, so he was designated.
• So the Angels' pitcher, Rodriguez got called into the manager's office. The manager said, "Can you hear the drums, Fernando?" The pitcher said, "Que?" So his manager said, "The stars were bright, Fernando. They were shining there for you and me." The confused pitcher said, "I don't understand, skeeper." And then the manager gently told him he was being designated for assignment. Fernando asked in broken English if there was any way the manager would change his mind. His manager concluded by saying, "Though I never thought we could lose, there's no regret. If I had to do it all the same again, I would my friend, Fernando."
• Oh yeah, the Angels also put Michael on the Ryan Express to Salt Lake of the PCL.
• The Mariners put all the game pieces in place to help their outfielder and put Milton Bradley on the restricted list.
• As if the Mariners weren't already Lowe enough in morale, pitcher, Mark, went on the disabled list.
• For the A's, poor Mazzaro can't Vin. He got one shot in the rotation and was sent back to the minors.
• Yunel's season scraped on the sand Escobar as the shortstop went on the DL.
• Outfielder, John, thought that when Pittsburgh selected him in the Rule V draft and that he made it this far into the season, he was going to stay with the Pirates come Raynor shine. But he got sent back to the Marlins and is headed to the minors.
• Couldn't decide on which pun to use for this next one, so you get two (stop rolling your eyes): The Rangers needed Cash to pay for Towles as they swapped catchers from the majors to the minors and vice versa. Or: In a strictly Cash deal, the Rangers purchased the contract of catcher, Kevin.
• The disabled list is Rick's Achillies Ankiel as the outfielder went on another injury holiday.
• The Royals also performed a Colonospopy as Roman was released. And you thought just the Greeks were in trouble? Alternate: Colon went on a Roman holiday as he was released.
• The Twins Manshipped pitcher Jeff back to the minors after just one start.
• When outfielder, Greg, first got called up to the Yankees, Girardi put his arm around him and said in his best Foghorn Leghorn voice: "You gotta keep your eye on the Golson."
• The fact that the Yankees needed an outfielder instead of a relief pitcher made Mark Melenconally since he was the guy who got shipped out.
• Valdez thought it was slick when he was called up by the Angels.
• The White Sox told Donny that he was going to be Lucy in the minors with baseball diamonds.
• The Astros perched Byrdak on the disabled list.
• After pitcher, Ricky, was so ineffective, his manager thought there was something wrong with his A-Orta, so to protect his heart, they released him.
• Perhaps the Giants won't be Rowand so much up stream since Aaron's back from the DL.
• The Mariners thought infielder, Matt, was only Tuiosososo and he got sent to the minors.

That's all for now. Tune in next time. Oh, stop! Of course there's going to be a next time.